Vyvanse
Today, I took a pill for the first time in a long time.
I woke up and took a pill.
It was a Vyvanse for ADHD. I was diagnosed with it over 46 years ago but hadn't tried medication until 10 years ago. I take Vyvanse when I know I won't be engaging with many people but still need it to focus on getting things done. It helps me focus on whatever my brain is focused on - either on task or not. I tend not to overthink and be an over-perfectionist on the tasks I am working on. It helps, but only when I am not with other people.
Being social on Vyvanse, Concerta or Ritalin are not good. For me, it is different; it removes the filter and eliminates any emotion from being with people. The pill turns me into a pure logical person. I get tasks done but I am not good around people. I am a primary school teacher, and making meaningful connections are essential for my job. It is also essential for me as a person. Connecting with others is what I crave most and why I don't take it often.
I rarely use medication to manage my ADHD. The last time was when I went to the library for 8 hours to study back in August. For me the social costs of the medication outweigh being productive. I need to be around people. Vyvanse makes me feel like I am not a good person to be around.